The Pied Piper and the Boston Tea Party
The two stories are true, more or less. The first one is so old, it’s afflicted with a literary form of Alzheimer’s, making parts of it surreal. Like stories, human beings fade into a foggy myth-like state as we age. But as someone who visited my ancestral home seven years ago near Hannover, Germany, whispers of my ancestors come to me in the marrow of my bones confirming stories of rats living inside Hamlin countless years ago. I can feel the furry bodies of the vermin that chased away our dogs and cats. I can hear the squealing of rat whelps within the walls drowning out the cries of our children. Bitten by fleas, exhausted and starving, we desperately sorted the excrement from our grain, only to die in agony from bubonic plague.
The second story is an American legend relived by some who’ve recently felt compelled to dress as minutemen from an earlier era, whispering vaguely, “we need to take back our government.” Probably no one would disagree that the election of the first black man as President of our country came as a shock to the system of some, who have been looking around anxiously for grounds to impeach him for the past 6 years. What they don’t remember is what we threw into the harbor and why. Our basic sustenance was being taxed, and we were forced to pay a foreign government that never took our basic needs into consideration. Hardworking Americans were not represented in England, yet we were forced to pay tribute.
What do the poor need today more than anything else? Give a man a sandwich and he’ll still be hungry tomorrow; a blanket, and someone will steal it when he goes to bathe. Give him a job and when his salad days are over, he’ll be just as hungry and broke as any of the homeless because there’s no guaranteed retirement.
What most poor people really need is a good lawyer. An advocate for the single mother whose ex-husband won’t pay child support. A representative for the unions on strike. Someone to lobby Washington to get bills passed despite corporate greed. American lawyers take the title of Esq. which means “esquire” or a man elevated to a rank between gentleman and knight, in England. To have this title of dignity makes you an honorary citizen of the United Kingdom. Since no man can serve two masters, then to whom do your loyalties belong, lawyers?
Think how many of you could be using your talents to more constructive ends: farming, manufacturing, or dreaming up ways to make the world a constructive, happy place instead of destroying an opponent in a courtroom. The way things are, it seems there are never enough lawyers. Hire one, and he’ll eat up everything you have.
You can’t impeach President Obama for his policies, his healthcare plan, for not knowing the Constitution, for being born in Hawaii, or even for being black. But you have grounds to impeach him for being a lawyer. And why stop with the President? Impeach every U.S. Congressman who has ever been a practicing attorney. Every state governor, every mayor who holds a license with their State Bar. Demand they resign immediately and deport them all, because they are agents of Mother England and not fit to govern this free nation. Why wait for the Pied Piper when we can and must surely accomplish this ourselves?